Top Ten Things to do While doing Laundry

10. Go to the bathroom

The wash normally takes about 25 minutes. If you if have the slightest inclination that you may need to go number 2. Head over to the pooper, your bladder will thank you. And if you make a mess on your self, quickly throw it in the wash. Nice.

9. Floss your teeth.

Your gums look terrible. When the Dentist asks if you’ve been flossing you don’t have to lie anymore!

Doctor: Have you been flossing?

Your Response: Every time I do laundry.

8. Recall how many quarters you believe you’ve used in your entire years of doing laundry.

I’m somewhere between 500 and 1,000. Think about how much money you’d save if you never washed your clothes. Think about how much shunning you would have to endure by being the “Stinky kid”. Good investment.

7. Imagine what it would be like to be a sock in the washer.

Woooooo! Clothing Jacuzzi!

6. Imagine how many socks you’ve lost in the laundry

Between 200 to 400. Think about how much money you’d save if you were more careful about your socks. Think about how many other better things you were doing with your life. Time well spent.

5. Contemplate what it would be like to produce laundry detergent.

I gotta tell ya, I have no idea what this would be like. Yet, I have thought about it in great detail.

4. Make a sandwich

Laundry=Hunger

3. Remember the time in which your mother did all your laundry.

You’d go to school. Your room would be a mess. Clothes everywhere. You come home. Your room was spotless and all your dirty clothes magically ended up back in your closet and draws. Then remember your first time on your own. Waiting for the laundry leprechaun to do his damn job.

2. Remember when the washed clothes in the river.

It was cheaper.

1. Make sure there aren’t any stray quarters under the dryer.

There could be anything under there. Not just quarters. You check and you find a penny. Who brings a penny to the laundry room?